I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The uberlube is also flammable
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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