next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
