***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
