You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize