i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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