This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
