Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Every concussion has its silver lining
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
