is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
