Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
