There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
there is glitter all over my balls
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