are you still at the devil's house?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
