Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize