I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
