What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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