So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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