If that was your dad, he is hot
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
