i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
