Don't make out with my wife yet
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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