What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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