I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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