I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
