epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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