Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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