The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
