You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
