he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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