NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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