My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
