wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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