you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
