Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
