At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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