Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
