sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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