doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
