How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
