either way he was missing a nipple.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
