It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
pray to the hookup gods
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
