i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
