guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
