Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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