The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm always down for nudity.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
