I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
