I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
