it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
