and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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