I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Two words: nipple clamps
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