Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
