i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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