I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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