someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
