Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
