dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
