Cold hands, warm shart.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
