The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
