In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I think my moral compass just broke
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
