We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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