whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Randomize
