my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize