After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
