Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
