i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
